New Study Finds: The Worst Guy You Know Also Likes All of Keith McNally’s Instagram Posts

Woah there!! If you clicked on this article, slow down. You know who Keith McNally, owner of Balthazar in New York, is? Well, you’re in luck! You might just be The Worst Guy I Know. Slip off your Margiela Replica shoes, because you’re going to want to sit down for this one. 

I get it. You’re cool. You use Santal 33 (I love the way that smells). You know what Diptyque is (I do too). You like art museums (what if we, like, went to one together?).

You’re hip. You read AirMail (I have a student subscription). You drink skim milk in a rejection-of-capitalism way (I like almond milk but my roommate drinks full fat). You go to talks by writers and critical thinkers (I did that once). You have Alo Yoga socks (I like their lip balm and my mum’s boyfriend wears those socks). 

But, please, for the love of God. Just stop liking Keith McNally’s Instagram posts… and find a way to get my phone number and set up a coffee date with me.