Penn Establishes Office of Inspection of the Office of Ethnic Inclusion of Non-Members of the Antisemitism Office that Aren’t in the Other Task Force

All our troubles are at an end. New College Dean Peter Struck has touched down on College Green to announce the newest Penn initiative to combat everything at once. Applications to join the student organization which will regulate the Antisemitism Task Force’s thoughts about the Presidential Commission on Countering Hate and Doing a Bunch of Other Good Stuff are now open. We are also making a Commission on Love which will be great. 

The Office of Being the Go Between Task Force Between the Action Plan to Combat Muslims and Hate has several goals in mind. First and foremost: we can’t make any more Offices because we don’t have space in College Hall so this is the last one. Furthermore they plan to stop antisemitism and islamophobia. And they may also tackle racism. 

The Task Forceful Students Assocation is looking for students with the following qualities: ambidextrous, power, care for others, engineering, religious stuff and ability to work well with other people who look like you. Do you fit this bill? Would you like to stop hate? Join the Inclusion Office. 

And another thing: we forgot to put anybody in the first islamophobia task force. There was a lot going on at the time and it got a little lost. Doesn’t mean we don’t care, doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt us deeply for the Islamophobia task force to currently be empty. So if you can find the time, please apply to that as well. Laws without morals are useless— same goes for the task forces people, let’s work together.