Op-Ed: Penn Should Accept More Qatari Money

I don’t really understand the argument that Penn accepts “too much Qatari money.” Have you seen our campus? Have you seen our bathrooms, gyms, and classrooms? I think we could all use more Qatari money in our lives.

I’m of the opinion that money cannot be bad (hence my attending of this university, where I thought everyone believed the same) and therefore am sincerely confused. In an effort to further persuade our readers, here’s a list of what Qatari money could get us:

1. Houston hall open on weekends.
2. Better Wharton funding.
3. Magic carpet.
4. Buildings that look cool like that one nanotech building or whatever.
5. Better Wharton funding.
6. A slew of high-end stores around campus.
7. Better Wharton funding.
8. More donor-controlled University policies.

I rest my case.