OP-ED: I’m Glad There’s No Quegger for Gay Men

Every year, the grand event titled “Quegger” occurs on campus. This event celebrates the joy of Penn’s queer women and non-men and they have a lovely time partying together. While I am reporting on this matter, the reality is that it is all speculation on my end as I have never attended a Quegger before. See, I am not a queer woman. I am the antithesis of a queer woman. Regardless, my expert reporting —secondhand accounts from friends— purports that this party is fun and that everyone looks forward to it.

But, imagine my horror when a straight friend of mine learned about this party and asked “is there an equivalent for gay men?” My heart skipped a beat. Suddenly, I was back in the trenches of the Gayborhood. I now dread the upcoming Charli XCX/Troye Sivan SWEAT tour, for the amount of near-shirtless gay men there will surely be my personal gay men Quegger. 

In short, everyone who thinks this would be a good idea needs to actually befriend or be a gay man, our world is too complex (messy.)