Crazy Thought: Let’s Install Urinal Dividers At Smokes

Listen, I’m all for avant-garde innovative creative designs and all that. But do we really need to have nothing more than a wall with no dividers to piss on at our campus bar?

Sure, you could claim that I’m overreacting and that the one stall is enough if you want privacy. And to that I’d reply: why don’t you want a urinal divider? Are you obsessed with people seeing your dick out in public? Do you want your peers and randomers alike to know that you pulled your whole dick out for every man in your vicinity to see? Seems kinda gay if you ask me…

I would be far more content with the lack of urinal dividers if I were in an environment that I am more accustomed to (gay bars where you can expect to see a myriad of dicks out) but I am just out of my element here. It’s not like urinal dividers will even change anything for me — considering how short I am, I’ve accepted that anyone taller than like 5'8 can see my dick at urinals now. This is for YOU. I am fighting for YOUR rights to not be metaphorically —or literally I’m not judging— smacked with dicks of varying sizes in your peripheral vision. 

So no, this article isn’t for me. It’s for you. Please, let’s just install urinal dividers at Smoke’s. For the people.