Student's Vow to Stop Vaping Undermined by Lack of Vow to Quit Drinking

PHILADELPHIA, PA – In a shocking turn of events, this student’s recent vow to quit vaping has already been completely undermined by their lack of a vow to quit drinking.

Despite multiple commitments made while showering only the day before, after only four drinks the student magically found themselves at 7/11, buying a mint flair ultra.

“They’re gonna quit any day now,” said close friend Rick Flamenco, who always carries a Geek Bar set to burst mode on him, giving it during parties out to whoever asks. “I mean it’s not like any of us are addicted.”

This morning, the student finally decided that this time it’s for real. After another thoughtful shower, they threw out their vape and thought about how they’d have just as much fun simply drinking with friends later in the evening, finally substance free. “Tonight will be completely different,” the student told UTB, “we’re gonna go to Sink or Swim. I won’t sink.”

At press time, the student was three Green Tea Shots deep, feeling like something just isn’t right.