Life’s Better on Saturn: I Contracted Dysentery From the Theos Luau Kiddie Pool

The vibe was tropical, the slip was sliding, and the pool—oh, the pool. I hadn't believed in paradise until now. Some would say it was a hideaway, no…it was a utopia. Submerging my body into that blue neon abyss was like reaching nirvana. 

Sure, it may have been inflatable, but it was a portal to another dimension. One quick dip and your worldly worries melted away, much like the integrity of my digestive system a few hours later.

Would I do it again? Absolutely.