Sorority Hazing Takes Cruel Turn With Mandatory Consumption of Non-Diet Soda

Huddled on the floor of a dark fraternity basement, these girls are being forced to do the unthinkable: each must drink a full can of non-diet Coca Cola.

As each can was opened, girls pleaded with their New Member Educator that they would do anything to avoid drinking the sugary soft drink to no avail. “We knew we’d be hazed,” says freshman Melissa Stein (C’ 29), “but we never thought it would be this bad.”

Rumors the girls were having a “coke” night had spread throughout the PC a few nights before. However no one thought it could refer to something so sinister –even cocaine has zero calories.

At press time, fraternity pledge masters were inspired to develop a similar hazing method: each pledge would be forced to try a micronutrient.