“Embracing the Two Plate Solution”: Falk Kosher Dining Apologizes For Tone-deaf Café Theme

Falk Kosher Dining apologized to the Penn community last night for this week's café theme: "Embracing the Two Plate Solution." Recognizing Falk Dining as a watering hole for students across all backgrounds, the initiative sought to bring students together for dinner which, this month, coincides with the traditional Iftar meal that breaks the Ramadan fast. 

Kitchen staff apparently workshopped the disastrous theme for months before settling on it. Other proposed themes included "That's a (chicken) wrap on fasting!" and "There might be a famine there but there's plenty of food here!" However, both were deemed as flippant and summarily rejected.

"We wanted the slogan to foster a feeling of peace and welcoming," said Falk Chief-of-Staff Jeremy Hardinger. "What's more welcoming than two servings of food instead of one?"

However, the chosen slogan was still generally received as tone-deaf by the Penn community. 

Regular patrons at Falk Kosher Dining expressed their discomfort with the announcement: “It was a spit in the face — I'd rather them spit in my food.” said Moshe Rabinowitz (C ‘27). Avid chicken-wrap fan, Mahmoud Awad (W ‘25), said he fervently agreed. Both students planned to draw up a joint condemnation to post on their respective political action Instagram accounts. 

"In a way, we kinda did our job," said Hardinger when pressed for comment on the student body's unified condemnation. Surrounded by disgruntled students wearing both kippahs and hijabs, Hardinger seemed blissfully content. "You know, we kind of did it perfectly," he said with a smile.

At press time, Falk kitchen staff released a second apology for its proposed menu: a Lemony Garlic Salmon locally sourced “from the river to the sea.” Apparently, they meant the Delaware.