ABG This. ABB That. What Happened to Asian Baby Studybots?

The modern day Asian American diaspora has a new claim to fame in the Western lens of racial diversity, and that is the stereotype of the “Asian Baby Girl”. This is equivalent to an Asian girl from California who wears false eyelashes and goes to raves. 

At Penn, an ABG is more loosely defined as “an Asian girl who is above average in looks and has highlights.” 

Because Asian men hate feeling left out, the term “Asian Baby Boy” has also formed in tandem. This is equivalent to an Asian boy from California who has tattoos and a perm. 

At Penn, an ABB is more loosely defined as “LOTUS brother”. 

Overall, these terms can be portrayed as a whole with the following term: #boba.

There is an obsession with these terms both on the Internet and in real life, and it is really affecting me, an Asian woman who still STRONGLY identifies with the original Asian stereotype of being a loser studybot nerd virgin geek. In this highly researched investigative piece, I will explore why the view of the Asian American diaspora has so starkly shifted, and question whether this is really where we belong. I have therefore collected highly important evidence from a highly trustworthy source. 

As seen on Penn’s Sidechat, circa March 23rd 2025: 

“I got dropped for an abg and I’m not even mad yall are gorgeous”

“Asian mtbs are the best bc they can just abgmaxx”

“Why are all the abgs in bfrats”

This is unsettling.

What happened to: “Damn, that tiny Asian kid is a piano PRODIGY!” or “Whoa, this Asian girl who was just born got into Harvard!” or “Wow, I can’t believe this eight year old Asian boy got a perfect score on the MCAT!” 

This used to be our claim to fame, but it no longer is. Now it is “Damn that hot ABG can rip hella vapes at the Illenium rave while applying her falsies!” 

I think this is something we ALL should be ASHAMED of. 

To fix this, many experts have suggested that we need to implant a chip in the brain of every Asian American that fills their mind with Amy Chua verbally abusing them. I agree. We need this, in order to truly redeem ourselves as the best study bots that America has to offer.