Danya Dzebissov, a junior pursuing a mathematics degree within the College of Arts and Sciences, has recently distinguished himself in a field his professors have yet to formally recognize: reel analysis.
With so many causes competing for attention, the Panhellenic Council has chosen to direct all proceeds toward animal cruelty — specifically, ensuring that dogs across Philadelphia have access to proper nail grooming through their partner organization, Nails N Paws.
Danya Dzebissov, a junior pursuing a mathematics degree within the College of Arts and Sciences, has recently distinguished himself in a field his professors have yet to formally recognize: reel analysis.
Further changes involve the introduction of a loud, fluorescent light-induced buzzing noise in the Goldstein Undergraduate Study Center, a replacement of all group study rooms with chastity study carrels, and the addition of cushioned toilet seats.
With so many causes competing for attention, the Panhellenic Council has chosen to direct all proceeds toward animal cruelty — specifically, ensuring that dogs across Philadelphia have access to proper nail grooming through their partner organization, Nails N Paws.
It's the best week of the year for some.
“This level of commitment is what we usually only see in day traders and people refreshing their ex’s Instagram,” said one behavioral psychologist.
“In this world nothing can be said to be certain, except death, taxes, and added protein,” - Ben Franklin, more or less.
Mark "Punch" Goldberg was dropped by APES on Monday after saying a slur in public and not behind closed doors like he is supposed to.
He needs you to know that he’s better than you for taking a break and deleting the apps for a while (2 hours) and that he’s trying to improve himself via attention span resetting, dopamine cleansing, and internal work.
The climate is stable and they are not talking about it.
In this exposé, I shall present to readers photo exhibits and real-life images of what I mean when I say old white women with pixie cuts are evil evil creatures, brought upon the earth to poison us with their thoughts and actions.
One graduate student had suggested increasing the amount of sides from two to three. She was immediately executed on the spot.
The CIS Department has announced that in Daniel’s honor, January 16th will henceforth be the “Day of SEAS AI Major Visibility”. Plans for the inaugural celebration next year already include a second vigil, along with spraying fart spray into Wharton professors’ cars.
I can't be the only one confused right? India is on a completely different continent. These so-called "land acknowledgements" aren't even acknowledging the right thing.
I am going to give you AIDS
University officials are now reportedly considering rebranding all training modules as “character-building exercises.”
“It felt like being shoved into a locker all over again.”
There are still some good men out there!
Solutions by The State News
