As of last week, Amazon pulled out of their HQ2 plans for Queens, closing off anticipated job opportunities for many. So, basically, as of last week, senior Whartonite Jeremy Anders’ life was ruined.

Earlier that day, he sat down to speed watch his lecture for his exam only to find it loudly interrupted periodically by a side conversation of two boys in the back.

“I came in here for a roll of toilet paper, but then I saw that face masks were on sale, and after that it’s a blur.” 

Five minutes into the first class, he could already tell what was on students' minds — that they were in a class with a professor who won a Pulitzer back in ‘82.

I know what you’re thinking: it’s going to be hard to keep the game balanced when adding such an immensely powerful character.

Along with using lots of Tupperware, Jenny is extending this mindset to other aspects of her life.

The conversation should last for around 15 or 20 minutes, depending how much mileage the two can squeeze out of their initial weather conversation.

"Hinata is so beautiful and we have great chemistry, but Sawako is such a good friend and so fun to dance with.”

You know one thing for sure: no matter what happens, you will not be getting hard tonight.

"Since I don’t inhale, the more times I take a smoke break or short walk around the block, the more fit I’m getting."

It’s a microcosm of coffee and money. At this point, Penn should look into adding it to its real estate portfolio.

Here's the scenario: after throwing an absolutely bangin' mixer last night, you come downstairs to assess the carnage.

I thought it was just going to be a fun relaxed night of binge drinking, but instead they found old video games in the basement, and now the night seems like it’s going to be really wholesome. 

While most research suggests that consuming alcohol in any amount is detrimental to a person’s health, Adkins feels it’s her duty to make the most of college, be it in the form of tequila on Tuesdays, Sink or Swim on Wednesdays, or drinking her weight on Thursdays, Fridays, and Saturdays. 

He is experiencing an unparalleled amount of drive that he had not yet embodied during his time at Penn: he must make it on to the Smoke’s plaque.

I might grab an apple, perhaps a kiwi or even a pear if I’m feeling adventurous. I could even grab a banana, like you seem to have maybe done.

"I’ll do a ten-mile run in full uniform, but do you know what’s on the walls of those showers? Neither do I, and I’m not about to risk it.”

You’re telling me you’re at a Miami beach party, and you’re just gonna causally sip some wine? Not even fun wine like Franzia.

The History Department tweeted "There just aren't that many important women in history. Sorry feminists." in August of 2011. Like many of its tweets, the post did not garner significant reactions. It has since been deleted.

In this hyper-polarized climate, in which people (especially Muslims) are viewed far too often with contempt, scorn, or fear, it's important to be an ally. Today I am officially declaring that if Penn's president Amy Gutmann was Muslim, I would be totally cool with it.