If you're going to violently curse your professor's dead relatives and weep into your hands, you're gonna have to take it down juuuuust a few decibels.

“For too long we've allowed Santa to be the most vocal spokesperson for fossil fuels,” yelled College junior Caroline Erickson at a sit-in protest.

Somehow, it was almost like two songs were being played at once. And granted, it didn’t sound great. The keys of the two songs didn’t quite mesh well, but goddamnit Liza was just so darned amazed that there were two songs mixed together that she couldn’t care less.

I consider myself an herbalist. No, not in the I-smoke-pot-everyday way, but more in my tendency to consume a small cup of single-origin green tea every day.  

New posters have cropped up since the initial one, but lately the messages have switched from being oddly threatening to just flat out aggressive.

On Friday, Penn’s premiere alt-jazz indie-hop scat-bop k-pop a cappella group Kite and Off-Key stirred up the campus music scene with the release of the recording of their 2006 spring show, Pluton’t You Wanna Make Some Music With Us.

There are a variety of techniques you can use to transport your &Pizza box to its final destination. Each method comes with its own pros and cons — none will be cool.

The three fine arts students created the installation for a final project in hopes of raising awareness that the majority of Penn students have incredibly basic shoe game. 

Instead of providing hairy, mangy pups with slobbery mouths, the College has instead decided to invest in a far more adorable critter: the cockroach.

Physics professor Robert Ryker recently assigned a problem set to his physics 151 lecture that contained no physics problems. Instead, it contained a list of Professor Ryker's personal issues.

45 percent thinner than existing toilet paper, the new design replaces the existing single ply with the equivalent of a half ply.

There are only so many reasons someone would be at a Frogro past 11 at night and none of them involve good decision making skills.

Bradley peered optimistically, hoping to catch a glimpse of a familiar face. Instead, he ended up making painful eye contact with numerous strangers for two seconds at a time, over and over again.

No longer would she have to fret as the bouncers inspected her fake, which they would hold up to the light while they asked for the capital of Delaware.

Apart from the usual things I expected from my time at home for Thanksgiving, I was not expecting the new slang that my Grandma had picked up. 

DRL Lecture Hall A3 recently went from learning-field to battlefield. As a midterm for Astronomy 533 was well underway, Professor Henry Glack made the critical mistake of leaving the room in the middle of the exam.

Have you ever wondered what it's like to be the 47th Vice President of the United States and Presidential Professor of Practice, Joseph Robinette Biden Jr? Now's your chance! Hop on your scooter and navigate Locust as you travel from Perry World House to your meeting with Amy Gutmann.

Sammie Tomson (C ‘19) is committed to shattering artificial barriers to success. She’s also deeply dedicated to exposing Dr. Amy Gutmann for the fraud she is.

“Why take Chick Lit or Roman Mythology like a sucker when you could be relishing the Pod experience,” Blankenship gloated before returning his attention to a 15-second clip of “Spirited Away" looping on a nearby monitor.

'Tis the season, and if you have anything lower than a 4.0, your ass is grass and your family is going to mow it.