Most Recent
Stain on Quad Floor Is Not the Usual Blood of the Innocent, Is Actually Vomit
The regularly scheduled demonic ritual was interrupted by a visibly inebriated freshman.
Freshman Shocked That Class Right Before Thanksgiving Isn’t Spent Making Hand Turkeys
Louisa Ferman (E ‘22, W ‘22) walked into OIDD 101 this Tuesday with her creative juices already flowing.
Amy Gutmann Reportedly Spending Up to 3 Hours Daily Practicing High Five
Gutmann will “take a sharpie, trace her hand shape onto a mirror, and just keep high fiving it until the glass breaks.”
Knock Knock! It's Your Cool RA — Talk To Me About Your Sex Life!
You can tell me anything. Specifically, you can tell me about all the sex you've been doing.
OP-ED: My Cocaine Use Doesn't Define Me, But My Pants With Vertical Stripes Do
It is easy to label me for my drug use. But what really sets me apart are my fun, rebellious pants.
Poli Sci 001 Student Fucking Pumped to Scream Political Theory at Family During Thanksgiving
"Just wait until I bust out John Locke’s social contract theory after Uncle Jeffrey tries to argue about illegal immigration."
Help Wanted: Counterparts Desperately in Need of Instrument Manager
The urgent listing comes after the group was forced to sing on multiple occasions in performance without any additional musical instruments.
Passive Aggressive? Student Throws Away Roommate's Belongings as Part of Weekly Trash Run
Gentle pranks, kind-hearted jabs, and the occasional backstabbing is all considered par-for-the-course when it comes to living with a complete stranger.
Student Spends Night in Bathroom With Hands in Dyson Airblade©, Still Had to Wipe Hands on Jeans.
Around 10 p.m. last night, Jack went to the bathroom — the one that looks a little fancy from the outside but has the same stank as the bathrooms in Pottruck.
That Kid Who Always Leaves 20 Minutes into Lecture? Here’s Where He’s Going
A thorough investigation of Moore was recently conducted, following him on a few of his outings in order to finally discover his whereabouts.
Sophomore Girl Changes from Pajamas into Her 'Going Out' Sweatpants
Someone call Tim Gunn!
OP-ED: Wearing Allbirds Doesn’t Mean I’ll Work In Tech (But I Probably Will)
I’ll say it. Penn has a problem with stereotypes.
OP-ED: Don’t Blame Me, Blame The System. I Will Eat My Kettle Chips in VP Basement Loudly and Proudly
Sweet, sweet Mark’s Café has its ups (Dibs) and downs (sandwiches, sushi, fruit, coffee), and kettle chips fall right in the middle.
OP-ED: Yea My Roommate's Here But Lets Just Have Sex Quietly
I was a little worried about doing this whole blind date thing but it really turned out great.
Freshman MERTed Out of Exam: 'That Had Me Fucked Up'
"After I read that problem about the Pigouvian tax, I knew I was done for."
Student Wakes From Nap In Refreshing State Of Delirium
Kylie Ortega was feeling drowsy as she headed home from class yesterday afternoon.
Dirty, Stained Plate Honestly Looks More Appetizing Than Anything at Commons ‘Comfort’ Station
The results are in! 10 out of 10 Penn students agree.
They Do the DP Crossword Together Every Week. Last Friday, She Used It to Tell Her 'we should stop hooking up. idk i think ur kinda too clingy'
Johns, who reached out to the DP weeks in advance, wanted to reject Thomas in a unique way.
Heartbreaking: Freshman Realizes 'BBB' Major Doesn't Stand for 'Big Booty Bitches'
Why do I think Penn is the right school for me? Three words...
Philadelphia Overlooked as Gutmann Picks New York and DC as Sites for New Penn HQ
Penn announced on Tuesday that—despite its student body and the large amounts of land it has purchased and gentrified in West Philly—it will be building new offices in New York City and Washington, D.C.