Jacob Smith, a junior studying economics in the College, may not strike you immediately as someone who fulfilled his language requirement with Mandarin.

At 9:54 a.m., Liam Taylor (C ’20) was on his way to get a spicy beverage from Pret a Manger when, in an act of complete selflessness and humility, he held open the door for the person behind him.

Yo kid, that’s not a mouse under your refrigerator, that’s a goddamn elephant shrew, and you better take good care of it.

"Academic professionals everywhere know that the human brain performs at its best when under immense, crippling stress."

On Thursday, Penn students staff, and faculty received text notifications regarding an “adorable dog, possibly wearing a sweater and shoes at 3600 Locust Walk.” 

“There was a lot of pressure to sign the lease before November,” Rodriguez said.

From his pristine GPA to his extracurriculars, Preston Fleming (C ’21) was a guy who had school figured out. Or at least, so he thought. 

At Penn, guest lectures are often viewed as skip days for that class, or, at the very least, a nap period.

Panic quickly devolved into horror in class today as fine arts major April Hubman (C’20) suddenly realized that the abstract algebra class she was in had absolutely nothing to do with abstract art. 

Penn is all about tradition, and the traditions we make together are those which will define us for generations to come.

“Two of the dryers finished drying, can the owners come pick their clothes up,” Werfel wrote passive-aggressively, phone in one hand, stopwatch clutched in the other. “I will wait two minutes before I take matters into my own hands and place them on the counter."

There’s lots of ways students zone out during classes nowadays.

Bring out the big guns and use one or many of these UTI-related exclamations to ward off that creepy guy.

As cuffing season approaches, more and more desperate Penn students find themselves settling for relationships with mediocre hookups.

The Garbage Truck has provided undergraduate squirrels, graduate squirrels, and squirrel faculty with delicious, fresh, and cheap eats. 

Recruiting is rarely kind to anyone.

"I remember asking a question about a homework problem, and a gentleman replied by asking me 'What does it mean to know?'"

Ashley Banks (C ‘20) really wants to save money this semester.

Carol Brown began her collection with her college house t-shirt on her first day on campus.

“I just feel like I have a wandering spirit. I can’t be tied down.”