No, like, what the fuck is wrong with you guys?

And in German it's now Gutschland. Hurrah!

If this doesn’t say fall we don’t know what does! Drape yourself in this luscious autumnal accessory in an attempt to externally heal your wounds that have already been very deeply internalized. 

In retrospect, it was obvious from the name that something bad was bound to happen.

Michael then proceeded to tell the same aggressively mundane story to every other club member after coming to the false conclusion that he’d struck an anecdotal gold mine.

"By making students feel better without their knowledge, we eliminate the middleman of ‘therapy’, and our job is done."

A monument to the people shall arise where elite culture once dominated. 

The comment said, “Photo credits to me." Naturally, the person who wrote this comment and your crush have been engaging in decadent sexual entanglements.

Foucault conceptualized the panopticon as a way for those in power to use technology to control the flow of information in society, a calculated, intricate apparatus embedded in the very logic of social structure and function. 

The time to end iced chai is now. Follow these tips so you're never caught drinking a gay, sissy drink again.

According to the long-forgotten policy, any student has the option to challenge their professor to a duel to dispute an exam grade. Amazingly, students are even able to rent out pistols for the duel from Van Pelt. 

One time, I saw a baby with an iPad. I cried and threw up for three days.

Need some last minute costume ideas? I've got you covered. 

Our main thing is smoking cigarettes on benches on Locust to help us stay skinny.

This saga of white Confucianism continues. 

This rebellion was a long instigated effort by both Panhellenic and University students to put an end to these horrible, white-girl anthem monstrosities.

After entering Spirit Halloween, Gutmann was quoted as asking store manager Joseph Kelly for the most appropriate traditional Lederhosen attire that would make her look “professional and honorable, but with an ass that just don’t quit."

How to make dirty money FAST. 

What? She doesn't like it when you ignore her? Oh, poor girl :( BOO HOO :(

When you get to the checkout line, you really only have to pay for one out of every ten or eleven items you plan on leaving with.