Eat, drink, and be merry!

I am the fucking Commons alpha.

Clark doesn’t describe himself as an alcoholic, however; rather, he is a connoisseur of the Lites.

The idea has received 'glowing' reviews.

I am fighting for YOUR rights to not be metaphorically —or literally I’m not judging— smacked with dicks of varying sizes in your peripheral vision. 

My Bubbe always told me to reach for the stars.

You found him the next week alone in his dorm with his eyes watering, staring at a picture of his best friend Richard Mater (C ’27), asking himself if it was casual now.

But, please, for the love of God. Just stop liking Keith McNally’s Instagram posts…

And this month, it’s getting heavy.

If a tree falls in the forest, but I am wearing noise-canceling headphones, does it make a sound?

“They’re gonna quit any day now,” said close friend Rick Flamenco, who always carries a Geek Bar set to burst mode on him, giving it during parties out to whoever asks. “I mean it’s not like any of us are addicted.”

I swear these are all genuinely overheard.

Submerging my body into that blue neon abyss was like reaching nirvana.

You'd All Be Too Messy

10 tips from the hottest social climbers in University City. 

Carving a semi-glutide to student film pipeline

It's kinda like printing more money but not bad.

When we decided to conduct a mock Epstein trial, we knew that we needed someone who committed the same exact crimes as Jeffrey, down to the smallest, most minute detail.

The student was found staggering across High Rise field, muttering "I must not steal, I must not steal."

Interim President Jameson has announced he is done fucking around and is now strapped.