"I remember in my first week on campus, I would go home to the Quad, but I kept accidentally going to Hill because it was the first 4-sided building I saw.” 

There may never be a chance to retrieve these experiences that the first-year class has lost. 

The Daily Pennsylvanian reporters met with school administrators earlier this morning to collect information about the logistical outline of the coming weeks.  

Onlookers claimed that Pottruck’s rapid expansion, which left fully-formed planets and entire galaxies in its wake, happened in the span of “a couple milliseconds.” As expected, everyone in the gym at the time was immediately vaporized.

Every piece of clothing in Urban Outfitters tells a story. Some say, "I just moved from Rural Virginia to Philly and boy do I need to stop wearing skinny jeans." Others say, "I just deleted Hinge for the sixth time, but this Saturday night I will redownload it."

 We all know that Penn is a seriously cash-strapped institution. The existence of Gregory College House is proof that the university does not have enough money to keep things in repair. If the school can’t even maintain dorm buildings, how do you expect Penn to pay its dining hall workers? 

 If students were curious they could double click on the image which takes them to a page with the meme as an animated GIF so the flames move.  

Thank god Zoom has finally accommodated its users by letting us hide the bitch once and for all. 

An email from Bachar to their professor late Tuesday evening has been leaked in which they claim, “Look, this is deadass my writing! I don’t know what else you want me to say.

Students have wrongfully pointed their fingers at Greek Life when, all along, it was the breakout rooms that lead to all the cases. 

Woah, are you okay man? That looked like a pretty nasty fall back there, but I’m glad you’re alright! Geez Louise, don’t scare me like that, bro.

In fifty years, when my enemies look back on their lives, I want them to find peace knowing that they failed spectacularly, learned from it, and never crossed me again for as long as they lived.

u00a0Thus, the Law of Total Probability is satisfied. u00a0

Evan has struggled to make the leap from cracking jokes at family dinners or retweeting funnier people to cranking out solid satire twice a week but his grandma was quick to point out that he was also slow to learn the alphabet.

 Every time you look into the screen, do you just see a void of letters and numbers and symbols that don’t mean anything as they dance around the screen like monkeys bouncing off the walls after having too many bananas dipped in concentrated Monster Energy drink? 

The establishment is rapidly gaining prominence nationally and internationally, and is expecting to be awarded the third, coveted Michelin Star later this week.

UTB kicks it back and makes the most of their spring stay!

"Stuart March (C’23) discovered how to achieve incredible results in the class with one simple trick and posted a picture of the email to Reddit with the title 'This is the LAST marketing class you’ll EVER need.'"

That night, everything becomes clear under the ruthless moonlight. A new annotation has indeed been added to your canvas submission. MATH114 TA Bob Greisch has assessed your quiz and annotated: “None of these steps really help you get towards upper triangular.”