“What we did was have our trained research fellows go out and observe people. They would look and see if people were like kinda chill and just vibing or if they were totally nutty and psycho,” Dubois said.

I’ll have another chemistry midterm, but the approval of a top tier frat can’t be regained once it’s gone.

What is that succulent scent wafting through the hallowed halls of Harnwell? God damn it. Is that steak au poivre?

The study survey created to code and quantify the good vibes variable among students showed a strong relationship between getting covid and feeling bad.

 Due to these new testing protocols, there has been an increase in elaborate kissing outside of testing centers.  

 “Wednesday. Thursday. Two full days off— just amazing really,” Chapman said. 

Jacob doesn’t even eat Jolly Ranchers. “I mean, don’t look in the cabinet, but if you do, the big bag of them in the kitchen belongs to my roommate.” 

“It’s disrespectful towards those in the Philadelphia community who have always been hospitable towards these kids and literally can’t even get into an invite-only rush event. It’s bullshit.”

UTB: It feels amazing knowing that we’re the sole source of news on this campus. 

But is any of this effort enough to gear me up for the absolute bloodbath on the second floor of Panera Bread? 

On top of being talented in creative writing, Fiona was also exceedingly employable.

You must resign and accept the fact that you are here again, and that you are staying here forever. 

The move is severe, but not surprising, as Penn has a long and proud history of being a nerds-first school. 

2. They tell you to email them after class with “questions." If this happens, you’re for sure going to nail your professor. They’re basically asking you to stay late, maybe turn the lights low, and finish off that hot lecture about physics with a tasty email nightcap.

The CDC has confirmed our worst fears: the strain is transmitted through one of Americau2019s most beloved British shows, The Great British Bake Off.u00a0

"I was looking at the Canvas site to read the prompt and it was like all the words had been replaced by these weird little sqiggles," recounts Goldman.

When Under the Button reached out for an interview an automated response screamed “POSITIVITY, POSITIVITY, POSITIVITY,” for a full 30 seconds 

 For some time it has been clear squirrels living in the Quad were getting a raw deal versus their brethren in the fit-for-a-giant-squirrel Lauder College House or even Hill. 

As a result, last weekend the brothers of DUM were able to compact over 400 students from the Penn campus into their fraternity house.

He later gave an artful account of how the Serv algorithm maximizes productivity while crushing workers’ spirit.