Would you rather have that nasty oil in the ground? / Or have it used for sweet, sweet energy all around?

Both sides presented very compelling points. I totally agree. 

He could just be intimidated by the intense culture here, and I don’t blame him for covering up when Penn Face is so bad these days.

You’re all thinking it, and you’re all too afraid to say it.

The lights flickered, curtains billowed, and a faint “Hurrah, hurrah, Pennsylvan-i-a” wailed in the distance. 

When asked to comment, he told UTB that he didn’t really want to spoil any big surprises for 2020 2.0, but wants to bring back one of his favorite characters from the past in a big way: the killer clowns of 2016. 

"Since we kicked kids off campus this semester, they will be so desperate to move into on campus housing that they won't even have time to complain about the lack of AC," explained Gutmann.

“By signing such a staunchly medieval declaration with authoritarian regimes, the United States itself is becoming a shithole country,” said Pompeo. “And now that we are a shithole country, people from other shithole countries won't want to immigrate here anymore. The plan is flawless.”  

Group 33 was baffled at the sheer ability to make a mistake that damn brainless, especially considering the first line of the article she cited was “Our company is launching to Peru, Maine (not to be confused with the country Peru for you special dumbasses)!” 

What most people never realize is that professors actually plan out for weeks the exact moment to release grades in order to cause the most heartbreak possible. It’s not easy to release your failed exam grade minutes after the pass fail deadline closes, it takes hard work and dedication to the craft.  

One student who was in beta-testing shared: “At 3 AM every night I post videos of myself crying to Hozier or Phoebe Bridgers while struggling to write 10-page essays. I see others post similar stories. It’s incredibly depressing… but, hey, at least we are in this together <3"

Plans for development include neural networking image recognition that filters out users that look too homosexual, ensuring this app is a safe space for normal people.

There’s this chick, right? Get this: everytime I try to put on the moves, she just stares at me, looks all concerned, and then asks me to come down for dinner before it gets cold. Like, what the hell?

 After Thanksgiving where the whites celebrate the spreading of smallpox to the indigenous population of North America and giving thanks to God for letting them slaughter and enslave, the whites deserve to celebrate by buying a huge discounted TV that they can eat their unseasoned microwave dinners in front of.  

We don’t want to hurt you. We really don’t. And honestly, at the end of the day, we probably won’t. But do you really want to take that chance? 

“Look, you might have to do some searching to figure out where your assignments are. Not everything is handed to you on a plate--well, except for this quiz, I suppose.” 

I'm driving to my Aunt's house, which is only three hours away, and we aren't going to stop at all, like even for gas or to use the bathroom, I mean if we broke down we would literally walk the rest of the way even if it was hundreds of miles and. . .

What a Disaster! There were more BALLOTS than STUDENTS (Sad!), “glitches” everywhere, and Sleepy Amy Gutmann won’t allow a recount!

Despite never having played chess--let alone played chess while high on tranquilizers--I have this gut feeling I would instantly decimate any player using the Sicilian Defense.

As your Aunt Cathy is nursing her sixth glass of Chardonnay, yelling that Nancy Pelosi was paid by the Democrats and Big Poor to slip Trump COVID-19 just weeks before the election, it is best to identify your allies, finding the other young, liberal democrats with whom you can discuss your rejection of conventional religions openly and freely.