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OP-ED: Only Losers Vote Early. I'm Voting Fashionably Late.
So today, November 5th, when I cast my vote, I will bring the action and the excitement. I will be the life of the party - both Democratic and Republican. And, most importantly, I will be the only insta-story with a pic at the polls.
As Nation Implodes, Nevada Takes Time for Self Care
Sure it might seem simple enough to just count the motherfucking ballots already, considering like 45 states did it in a day, but Nevada looks to Pennsylvania and finds the justification it needs. “If Pennsylvania hasn’t gotten their shit together either, it’s okay because I probably won’t be the last one.”
Canvas: The New Dating App to Meet Old, Married Professors
Hiiiiiiiiiii, KittyKat69SeX411 here! Long time SeekingArrangment user, short time student. I took advantage of the add/drop period, by surfing Canvas pages to find the sad little married fucks in need of some dick tickling.
US President Elected Peacefully and Democratically
Not expecting riots as a result of the election, businesses have chosen to not board up their windows, continuing the unbroken legacy of businesses not needing to board up their windows for an election.
Presidential Election, Who? Damn, No One Told Me That Was Yesterday
What a shame Trump might win Pennsylvania on a razor thin margin. If only people had gone out and done the work… reminding me to vote.
UTB Masks Up to Go to the Polls
UTB does its part to support our democracy.
Fuck!!!!
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Wayfair Pleased Everyone Forgot It Was Accused of Child Trafficking
Since the summer, Wayfair executives have been able to kick their feet up and relax after a stressful coverup. They were able to crack open a cold one with the boys surrounded by the storage cabinets that they deny ever contained any human beings.
How to Tell Your White Friends That They Will Spend the Rest of Eternity Burning in Hell
The idea of piety is fundamentally at odds with the cultural habits of white people. The idea of salvation is, quite frankly, laughable.
The Results Are In! Obama Won
If we’re going to spread fake news, we might as well make it good news.
Three Simple Tricks to Make Your Vote Count Twice
How can you ensure a victory for this country’s soul? Get your vote to count twice! Here are some quick and easy tricks to do just that.
"Make Sure You Vote Today," Says Professor Holding Class on Election Day
Dr. Perez wanted it to be clear that he says voting as almost as important as his class specifically. “They’re both crucial for your future, if you think about it,” he said to students.
