Most Recent
Valentine’s Day Miracle: I Have Recitation With the TA I’ve Been Hooking Up With
Hiiiii haha this might be a silly question but how do you transcribe jʊər aɪz ɑr soʊ ˈbjutəfəl?
Girls Gone Wild: The Hunt to Find a Little Begins!
As the hunt for a little begins (game on!), here are some fun activities to do with your new PC to help find your lins’ newest blonde babe
I Promise You in Two Years People Will Pay to Get My Girlfriend’s Roman Nose
When I see a button nose it makes me so ill that I just have to throw up in my mouth.
Mark’s Cafe to Relocate From Van Pelt Basement to Chicago’s O-Block to Reduce Chances of Being Robbed
What could have caused this? Hmm. Maybe it’s the fact that you stole so many frozen chicken pot pies that they keep a portrait of you in every Perdue factory farm?
“Mad Beautiful,” “Dumb Fire,” and Other Adjectives to Let Her Know You Appreciate the Finer Things in Life This V-Day
“Chill as hell” as in “babe, I just gotta let you know, your uncle Tony is chill as hell.”
12 Facts About Penn You Definitely Didn't Know
Did you know the 6-year undergraduate graduation rate is 102%?
Mom's Pressed! I Snuck Our Dog, Nae-Nae, Into My Carry-on and Moved Her Into the Dorms
Mother, please. I know you’re upset but I hope you’ll understand.
New Year, New Friends: My Fridge Became Home to 20 New Organisms During My Time Away
The mice had found the cheese, classic. The moths were swarming my intermittently functional fridge light. A new set of morels had begun to sprout from a set of button mushrooms I had previously purchased at Trader Joe’s.
Model UN Staffer’s Phone Filled With WAY Too Many Videos of Underage Kids
The staffer's phone is filled with videos of minors singing karaoke, dancing, passing resolutions, pretending to give birth, and other various acts the children's parents remain unaware of.
Damn: Exchange Student in Class Not the Sexy Type of Foreign
She was eating boiled potatoes and some sort of dried fish. Gross. Damn. It was like 10:00am.
J. Larry Jameson Promises Golden Arches on Walnut Street: The Interim President’s Secret Weapon to Secure Prolonged Presidency
He's Lovin' it!
SPONSORED: Class Board 2026 Offering Free Professional Backshots in ARB This Saturday
Missed out last weekend? Need a quick study break? Head on out back to the Academic Research Building!
I Went to a Museum and It Was Really Beautiful How Beautiful I Looked at the Museum
Omg you took pictures of me?
Report: I Still Could Have Gotten Into Penn Even If I Wasn’t Legacy
A new report from my chauffeur explains I am very smart, and even if my parents didn’t go here 30 years ago, I still could have still gotten into the University of Pennsylvania.
I’m A Communications Major and Consumer Psych Minor, But I’m Different. I Like Uncut Cock.
Don't worry about the hyperlinks, they're safe to click. I promise.
Breaking: Girl Who Has Her Dad’s Card on Her Uber Account Venmo Requests You for Last Night
Sisterhood is forever, and so are Venmo receipts.
OP-ED: Action Items? Deliverables? What Happened to Hip Mobility?
You anguished for nine months over something stupid. Now you can be normal.
Clem-In-Time: The Smashed Week-Old Cutie at the Bottom of My Backpack Just Saved Me From Spending $5 on a Slice of Coffee Cake
The coffee cake beckons to me. “Please Justine. I know you disavow coffee cake for illegitimate reasons of ‘I have no coffee in me, I’m all sugar, and you’d rather have your black coffee and occasional cortado burn a hole in your stomach,’ but please Justine, I’m only $3. I’m rose glazed. Wouldn’t you like to know what a rose tastes like?”
Marc Rowan Lifts Baby Bird From Ground in His Hand, Crushes It
Marc Rowan's Awesome Day