Most Recent
From McKinsey to K-Pop: Wharton Alum Has Locked BTS in a Cage
When 2017 Wharton MBA graduate Steve Donovan left McKinsey, he was worried that his days of facilitating the immoral detainment of innocent people were over. He doesn’t have to worry anymore! As of this morning, Donovan has locked world-renowned K-pop supergroup BTS in a small steel cage.
Pew Research Center Finds That Majority of Americans Say “Pew Pew” When Firing Imaginary Gun
The Pew Research Center has completed a landmark study which found that over half of Americans say “pew pew” when firing an imaginary gun, with “pew pew pew” and “pew” coming in second and third respectively.
From McKinsey to K-Pop: Wharton Alum Has Locked BTS in a Cage
When 2017 Wharton MBA graduate Steve Donovan left McKinsey, he was worried that his days of facilitating the immoral detainment of innocent people were over. He doesn’t have to worry anymore! As of this morning, Donovan has locked world-renowned K-pop supergroup BTS in a small steel cage.
Don’t Want To Be A Soldier? No Worries! Here’s a Guide to Self-Injury
While my haters may say making jokes about World War III is disrespectful, I’m here to say that this is no joke. As someone who has dodged the draft over 12 times and disrespects the troops at every possible waking moment, this is made in pure earnest in order to help my fellow countrymen disavow their own personal and local military industrial complex.
Bitch: This Anti-Vaxxer Takes Shots From Brad at AEPi But Not From Dr. Goldberg
Does it seem like, maybe, the fact that you couldn’t get off your ass and buy the agreed upon alcohol for the party has harmed someone who has an underlying condition that made her more vulnerable to shitty alcohol?
Report: Funny Friend Actually Just Kinda Mean
It’s all but certain Teddy will ascend to the status of one of the greatest comedians alive, among other giants like Louis C. — shit, never mind. There’s one issue, though — he’s also kind of a dick.
Gay Rights! LGBT Center to Introduce Poppers on Tap
The party drug, popular amongst queers and avant-garde heterosexuals, will now be supplied on tap at the LGBT Center. Drop by with your reusable vial and fill up!
My Outstretched, Personable Hand to Begin Accepting Dining Dollars
Just think of all the food that I will be able to enjoy. Margherita pizzas. Premium bento boxes. Whatever they sell at 34th Street Carvery. Your generous donation of dining dollars will make all the difference.
Senior Denied AI Internship by AI Interviewer
He thought he had nailed the interview, only to receive a short rejection response just .32 seconds after hanging up through Skype.
Dear Professor: I Am But a Poor Orphan Boy. Pathetic Human Garbage. For the Love of God. Let Me Into This Recitation.
I clambered into this world a cold, disgusting little worm man. Even the mound of garbage from which I was created could not bare to house me. And so, like the near-sighted, mud-dwelling mole that I am, I gnarled my way through the heap and into the blinding sun.
Sorority Rush Man on the Street
Joseph Elston talks to the future leaders of Penn's Panhellenic societies.
UTB Tries Zombie Skittles
spooky!
West & Down Man on the Street
Joseph Elston goes to West & Down as the Man on the Street.
Two Girls Reunite as Huntsman Burns in the Background
"Yo! What's up?"
Wrestling in the Moelis Family Grand Reading Room
*scattered applause*
MKTG 101 Students Buckle Down for a Group Project
I'll just make a Google doc.
Ghost Finders: David Rittenhouse Laboratory
UTB Sends in their Top-Rated Ghost Finder Team to DRL.
Pool Party Man on the Street
UTB took to Pool Party to investigate why no one swims in the pool.
Inside the Mask and Wig Pitch Room
The Mask and Wig Club, a private club in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, founded in 1889, is the oldest all-male collegiate musical comedy troupe in the United States. Here is an inside look into the minds behind the production.
Formal Fail: Champagne and Shackled to a Radiator
Worst blind date I've ever been on.
