Even though she isn’t “geographically” a “resident” of New York City, she completely identifies as a New Yorker, both spiritually and as an artist. 

Stephanie loves using Twitter. She loves it so much, in fact, that she can immediately tell whether or not a person is on Twitter when she first meets them.

My allocation of time only got more efficient as I learned to hedge my friendships. 

This isn’t a solo bingo game either: Gutmann has some steep competition to go up against. Martha E. Pollack of Cornell and Peter Salovey at Yale are both in on the action. Whoever completes their respective card first gets an all-new 2003 Kia Sorento. 

First hitting headlines after its involvement in the 2016 Presidential election, the paid Internet troll industry was in desperate need of customers in light of the scandal now centered around it. They reached out to a number of potential revenue sources including Latin American despots, the search engine Bing, and Yahoo News. 

Grumpier and somehow more entitled than before, students everywhere have had it up to here with this campus’ cutthroat culture (unless they’re the ones winning). Here are five things that might just make you act on those intrusive thoughts you get listening to someone talk about their completed assignment.

On any other Monday morning, she would have reached menopause before getting to the Harrison lobby.

Bryce reported that the first time he added poppers to his diffuser, he was put in a coma for three weeks, during which he had a manic fever dream about Catholic theater camp.

Let’s just say she’s making different foods fuck.  

I was intimidated by your mastery of Franklin, Google Scholar, and all its derivatives. Most of all, I was fearful that you would prove to me just how little I know about books and sourcing them compared to you.

The new dorm building, which will be designed by famed 6-year-old architect Calvin and his associate Hobbes, will be built using materials supplied by Amazon@Penn. For instance, walls and structural elements will be constructed with cardboard and fastened with postage tape; recycling bins will be used as toilets. 

While sitting in his PSYC 162 lecture, Doyle perfectly spelled physiological in his notes.

A select group of high-achieving, outgoing, white, male second years would be selected to board with Gutmann and her husband in their 13,975 square-foot house on Walnut. This would allow Gutmann to show solidarity with the sophomores, who must now overpay for a shared room with a hotel kitchenette.

Natasha posted on her LinkedIn later that night. u201cThis does not reflect on my character as a worker and was a one time mistake. This does not represent who I am.u201d

Slowly undo the velcro on both shoes. Really draw it out so that people will think that you’re done before hearing even more separating velcro.

Never (never) have I been able to indulge in the sweet, elusive nectar that is the Mango Dragon Fruit Refresher.

Basically, what I’m saying is that I know how to appreciate living in Philadelphia. I explore, and sometimes I take pictures since I like to document the neat things I see.

FFP is part of a larger international divestment movement, led by 350.org. Since its inception seven years ago, the campaign has been so effective in moving capital away from the fossil fuel industry that it was cited by Peabody Energy as one of the primary reasons they were forced to declare bankruptcy in 2016.

On March 6th, Grace Qi (C '21) ordered a chipotle chicken torta with a side of chips and guacamole from Frontera. For the last seven months, she has been waiting for her order on the ground floor of Arch Cafe. For over half a year, she has subsisted solely on chip crumbs and rats she managed to capture from the Frontera kitchen area. 

You probably look up to Elon Musk, yeah?