Quaint and comfy, this basement is complete with visible wall insulation, industrial chic lighting, and bare concrete floors.

 I am “your cousin Kevin” now, bitch.  

This is insane. This morning, at the Starbucks on 34th and Walnut, I had an experience that was beyond life-changing.

Please, follow us through our journey to what we like to call The Alps of Eastern Pennsylvania… or… The Poconos.

In an official statement, Magill responded to critics: “To our activists of color, I hear you. I am listening. Next time, I will try and listen a little more closely, though — I think I know what PILOTs are now.”

Here we all are. Together, on Penn‘s campus, in Philly, and, most importantly, wet.

Pour liquid nitrogen onto your feet. Your feet are no longer wet, since they are now solid.

Is getting MERTed... finally cool? 

The new curriculum was made possible due to a generous endowment from the Ponzi Foundation.

They will begin leasing the Radian next year as sophomore on campus housing, and you and I are on this cosmic journey together.

I should have known when he said he had a lot of family in Utah.

55% of the freshman class identifies as BIPOC (Businesspeople, Investors, People of Capital).

It’s just so hard being so bookish all the time.

Ugh, this is not sliving, Becky!

This kid definitely went to Exeter.

MANIFESTATION IS REAL IF YOU SKIP THIS ARTICLE YOU WILL HAVE BAD KARMA FOREVER!!!! AND A PIANO WILL DROP ON YOUR HEAD AT 11:11PM!!!!!!

Preposterous! Sure, snake-game tile patterns work for the technocratic healthcare managers of the world, but the New Sincere era calls for more garish tile displays. 

Steps 4 and 5 are to get a couple hundred thousand dollars from your father. If the displaced residents follow this simple 5-step plan, they should be Main Line homeowners in no time. 

When shown the Stanford insignia, reminiscent of her former employer, Magill responded, “Somewhere between Elizabeth Holmes and petrichor.”

At the end of the semester, participating students will be required to give presentations to the Penn community on what they learned from their time studying a broad, such as whether or not she is a vibe.