The idea has received 'glowing' reviews.

My Bubbe always told me to reach for the stars.

You found him the next week alone in his dorm with his eyes watering, staring at a picture of his best friend Richard Mater (C ’27), asking himself if it was casual now.

But, please, for the love of God. Just stop liking Keith McNally’s Instagram posts…

If a tree falls in the forest, but I am wearing noise-canceling headphones, does it make a sound?

“They’re gonna quit any day now,” said close friend Rick Flamenco, who always carries a Geek Bar set to burst mode on him, giving it during parties out to whoever asks. “I mean it’s not like any of us are addicted.”

I swear these are all genuinely overheard.

Submerging my body into that blue neon abyss was like reaching nirvana.

When we decided to conduct a mock Epstein trial, we knew that we needed someone who committed the same exact crimes as Jeffrey, down to the smallest, most minute detail.

The student was found staggering across High Rise field, muttering "I must not steal, I must not steal."

Interim President Jameson has announced he is done fucking around and is now strapped.

The Good News Is Here. Join the Task Forces.

Your favorite yapper’s favorite yapper

The workers seemed indifferent toward Theos, constantly misunderstood the name Apes, and displayed complete and total confusion as to whatever it is Phi Roses does on campus. 

“Chug, chug, chug,” another freshman recounted between tears, remembering how every drop of “The Market Mule” she put down made her think she’d be hip like the people in GRC. After being rushed to Penn Med that night, she now knows better, she says.

Life is suffering, and the only way to alleviate it is Clash of Clans or percocets.

“oh, I’m finna be in the pit”

Giving a voice to the voiceless.

I hope you found your community immediately after reading this enlightening article!

Real Italians live in New Jersey, and they say words like gabagool and moozarell and manicot.