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Anna O'Neill-Dietel


Articles

Breaking: Girl Who Has Her Dad’s Card on Her Uber Account Venmo Requests You for Last Night

Sisterhood is forever, and so are Venmo receipts.


You’re Kidding Me! Junior Didn’t Get a Summer Job by Guilting a CEO He Found on MyPenn.

"Eh, I figured I’d talk to them for like an hour and see if I got a job."



Weaponized Incompetence: Professor Doesn’t Put Syllabus in Syllabus Section of Canvas

These fearless students waded through the swampy waters of Modules and Files to track down an odd little Excel sheet named “GradingRubricFINALDRAFT2.xlsx”


“Let’s Get Drinks After This!” and Other Ways to End Your Last Appointment After You Age Out of Your Pediatricians Practice

Send out that When to Meet, sync your GCals, and enjoy your new best friend! 



POEM OF THE WEEK: Heaven Looks a Lot Like Facebook Marketplace

Heaven looks a lot like Facebook marketplace


Accepted Class of 2027 Worried There Is Less Recess Time at College

They're the new kids in town. 


Stupid Bitch! Rushing as a Sophomore Is Actually Super Fun and Will Not Make You Feel Lonely and Left Out!

Yes, 90% of the rush class are freshmen, they will all do pretty much everything without you, and the only other sophomore is a little weird, but that's part of it!



"I Don’t Wanna Yuck Someone’s Yum": Devil's Advocate Guy Picks Up New Signature Saying

That annoying guy in your seminar just got more annoying.


Happy Thanksgiving! My Friend Told Me I Have the Facial Structure of Goody Proctor

I think it’s your nose, maybe your chin. It's like someone overlayed every white girls' face. 


Sophomore Misses Midterm to Wait in Line for 1.5 Oz of Glossier You Eau de Parfum

It's so worth it! It really does smell a little different on everyone.


Erm, Why Does Your Childhood Friend Have a Two-Year-Old and You Don’t Even Have Your Bachelors

Jersey? Hannah is going to OWN a house with a yard? And she is a manager at Super Cuts in Cherry Hill?


Good for Her? Girl Who Won't Stop Talking About ASL Knows 2 Signs, the ABCs, and Not One Deaf Person

"I think this one means love... Or if you ask my boyfriend, it means rock on!"


Pranked Again! Quake Puts Lube in Dinning Hall Hand Sanitizer Dispensers

The magazine, known for printing students' grainy low lit nudes and try hard poetry, is venturing into pranks as performance art.


After Two Months of College My Body Consists of Primordial Soup

It just needs a zap of electricity to make some basic monomers.


Eavesdropping on Writing Sem Brings Sophomore Tears of Nostalgia

It was a simpler time; I still considered myself pre-med, ate McClelland eight times a week, and protested Castle.


I’m Just Trying to Figure Out What Sport You Play, Not Look at Your Boobs

Ponytailed or French braided? On foot or scooter? There is a myriad of sports she could play.


I Lived It: My Roommate Boiled Her Menstrual Cup in My Electric Kettle

I’d be lying if I said I didn’t have a few pairs of Thinx period panties in my drawer, but this was too far.


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