Number 12 WILL shock you. 

An advice column about love, life, and rock n’ roll, run by two of the sveltest broads in all of Pennsylvania.

Have fun, Quakers!

Hiiiii haha this might be a silly question but how do you transcribe jʊər aɪz ɑr soʊ ˈbjutəfəl?

Did you know the 6-year undergraduate graduation rate is 102%?

He's Lovin' it!

Number 4 Will Shock You

How am I supposed to function in a space with the characteristics of a space such as this space here?

Det. Kreuger would like to note suspect was really chill and cool and fun.

Even if we understand what someone is saying, that doesn’t actually mean that we understand it. 

Unbeknownst to me, that little bitch (read: fantastically successful and impressive athlete) just doesn't give a fuck about the beautiful things I have to say to her.

Imagine you came up with these awesome email ideas but are still struggling to get that letter. You’re seeing people around you. They’re going to career fairs. Where are you? Wilcaf. Writing satire. They have jobs. You don’t. They’ve been accepted to their abroad programs. You haven’t. 

“If we couldn’t laugh we would all go insane.” – Jimmy Buffett

Just like other highly effective and admirable organizations here (I'm looking at you, CAPS), MERT understands the basics of supply and demand.

There's a lot of stuff you don't know about me.

An advice column about love, life, and rock n’ roll, run by two of the sveltest broads in all of Pennsylvania.

AND that bitch from my history class invited my situationship to formal. Everything. Is. Ruined.

I'm not angry with them, just disappointed.

Critics say the institution is on track to become the country’s hottest eatery.