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Lila Meltzer


Articles

“I’m Excited to Announce” and Other LinkedIn Humble Brags That Scream “I Have a Micropenis”

“I’m excited to announce…” Translation: “Please validate me.”


Fasting for God or Fitting Into Jeans? This Yom Kippur, UTB Asks: Why Not Both?

This Yom Kippur, I’ll be thanking God for the ultimate gift: repentance and a size 24.


Life’s Better on Saturn: I Contracted Dysentery From the Theos Luau Kiddie Pool

Submerging my body into that blue neon abyss was like reaching nirvana.


"I Saw the Solar Eclipse With My Naked Eye": UTB’s Experience With the Total Solar Eclipse

Was it cool, sure? Was it worth feeling like I was living in Netflix’s Don’t Look Up, not really?


My Uncle Tried to Make My Spring Break About Him by Announcing His (Benign) Brain Tumor

Yeah, I obviously feel bad, but seriously Uncle Chris…timing much?


Classified Documents Leaked: Saint Anthony’s Hall Receives Record $84 Million Donation

The brotherhood rests on the pillars that diversity brings together individuals from a wide range of backgrounds.


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