In a stunning show of range, local friend Josh Laby (W '18) has also established himself as a bully to his small circle of friends.

In a unprecedented display of benevolence and charity, fraternity Zeta Alpha Gamma is reaching out across campus to collected new and used Juul cartridges to donate to underserved kids in the West Philadelphia school system.

Often seen shouting obscenities and threatening women, the street preacher rarely persuades many students. However, two groups of prospective students touring Penn found his unique brand of radical Christianity and millennialism enticing enough to join his small fundamentalist cult.

Contrary to her ostensible enthusiasm for Kanye West's music and hyper-modern aesthetic, international student Jessica Bishop (W '20), currently wearing a Yeezy brand shirt purchased for $500, still confuses Kanye West with Tupac Shakur.

Always trying to adjust to the times, Penn grandmother Bess Walderstein is sure that her weekly envelope of newspaper clippings to her grandson, Connor (W '20), is relevant and helpful to his life at Penn.