Sports For Chicks: March Madness

After a winter hiatus, our Sports for Chicks columnist Lily Avnet has returned, and this time she's elucidating the bizarre masculine obsession that is the NCAA tournament.

March Madness. Sadly the name doesn't refer to your wild rende vous with the Devil in 'Pulco, or Van Pelt fever in the stacks, or even Fling -- yep, it refers to that syndrome that strikes but once a year, male PMS. For the next few nights all your gentlemen friends will be consumed (dare I say mad) with college basketball disorder.  Symptoms include grouchiness, cramps, and an insatiable desire for chocolate.

With four teams left, get used to the all-consuming obsession with UConn, Villanova, North Carolina and Michigan State (shockingly Penn didn’t make the cut). Will the Final Four be exciting enough to empty out Lippincott?

We recommend that you brace yourself for tonight's games.  If you're a Radian or high rise dweller, don't be surprised if the guys upstairs make as much noise as the pseudo-musical Stomp or a Zete late night. And if Villanova wins, expect to hear cheers echoing all the way to Allegros (if they win the championship maybe we’ll even see a little even city destruction a la the Phillies victory). And FYI, when you hear people talking about shots this week, for once they most likely will mean three pointers not kamikazes.