Under the Button is part of a student-run nonprofit.

Please support us by disabling your ad blocker on our site.

This Week In Crime: Late Edition

81a35d26872df753a7cf4de842d45511

It's here! A few days late, but it's here nonetheless. Of course, I'm talking about the storied DP crime log. This week may not have been the stuff of legend (curse you, coat thieves!), but man was there a lotta theft - and pretty much nothing else.

In short, West Philadelphia was plagued by a higher than normal number of thefts this week: cell phones, laptops, bikes secured with freakin' cable locks - all were fair game! Since nothing stands out in particular, I'm going to list a bunch of advice that should help you avoid the myriad thefts that are going on all over this mess.

  • Start wearing a money belt.
  • Tie all of your belongings to your person.
  • Wear roller blades instead of riding a bike (you never have to take them off!)
  • Just start hiding your GPS if you keep one in your car.
And that concludes it. If everyone adheres to these 4 simple rules, we should see a sharp decline in theft. Trust me. There's a direct correlation here, I'm sure of it.

PennConnects