UTB Presents: Penn Madness, Volume III

It's that time of year again! While we salute those of you who partake in March Madness in the traditional sense, sometimes bringing the bracket a little closer to home is nice. (The Quakers aren't in the tourney this year, are they?) Regardless of whether or not you made your predictions in the DP's Bracket Challenge, UTB has an eclectic assortment of eateries, emails and A-Guts to battle it out to the bitter end. This is strictly biz, we don't play around - a winner will be crowned within mere days. (Will it beat the Fling announcement?) Click the jump to meet our glamorous contestants and cast your votes for Round 1!

Au Bon Pain: How we kvetched about that airport/food court establishment that plagued our precious Huntsman. But you never know a good thing til it's gone, and it's replacement is a Bridge Cafail. RIP ABP.

Subway: The main chain to fall victim to the Commons Renovation of 2012. Somehow our five dollaz don't feel as good going to Pizza 4IE as they do with footlongs. Although we appreciate the PiPun.

[poll id="58"]

44th Street: Just west of campus, a trenday stretch of 44th boasts such hip hotspots as Lil Pop Shop, Tampopo, Honest Tom's and Local 44.

Baltimore: Or does the street south of Pine deserve the honor? Home to the dollar stroll, Askum and Green Line, Tracy Turnblad would love its BYOs.

[poll id="60"]

Sandy: As in the October hurricane that didn't stop our power (or penchant for boozing), but did stop our classes.

Nemo: As in the winter storm that dropped feet of snow on Connecticut, but only affected us with annoying statuses about "finding" it.

[poll id="61"]

Red Amy Gutmann Suit: The red one.

Black Amy Gutmann Suit: The black one.

[poll id="59"]

Freezing St. Patrick's Day: Last weekend's overhyped holiday turned frigid tipsy shitshow. Admit it, we can't have Call Me Maybe mini-Flings every year.

Blarney Bust: Or Paddy's Irish cousin, the Blarney Stone? February was full of talk of an upcoming po-po raid, but this too was more than a wee bit overhyped.

[poll id="62"]

Microfilm: The underutilized treasure trove of archival documentz in VP. Look at any newspaper from any time, whether it's a monocle-chomping 18th century rag or the next-day reports of the moon landing (AKA government conspiracy.)

Penn Transit: The underutilized free shuttle system that basically takes you anywhere in Philly fo free in a clean, environmentally-friendly bus. (We don't really understand how it works either.)

[poll id="63"]

John Legend and Train: A Penn alum and ICONIC ROCK BAND that will be performing a free concert at Penn Park the Friday after Fling. Lead singer NEVER trims chest hair.

John Legend and A TRAIN: Plot twist. Would JL be even more unstoppable with a literal Amtrak locomotive that could send him on the railroad towards the drops of Jupiter?!

[poll id="64"]

Sexy Pics: Naked photOMG. Is the latest unfortunate listserv email the greatest?

Broken Nose: Or does this frazzled mass message take the cake? Who nose? YOU DECIDE.

[poll id="65"]